Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Growing Pains

See I thought I had it all figured out. 1. Be good, 2. go to college, 3. graduate, 4. get an average job , 5. get an awesome job , 6. meet Prince Charming, 7. white picket fence ....You get the picture. Well surprise surprise its been years now (feels like a lifetime) and  am still at 4 , stuck at 4. That kind of stuck that has you feeling comfortable, too comfortable to move. That kind of comfortable that is almost the same as being brain dead. Okay okay I exaggerate, but SERIOUSLY this kind of stuck is a disease. I know this because while I once was this confident girl with a vision and I'm now this woman who cant even answer this seemingly simple question. What do you want?

I really don't know any more. I mean there is just too many things now, can't figure out which is more important, which is more sensible and realistic. The years have taken away my blind faith. I was good, God knows I was really good, following all the rules. I should have had it all but it is harsh out there/ here, lol where is there? Anyway the universe cares not about our hopes and dreams. I kid you not, you can google it. Kashiri I know you will *wink. Kurauone (grow up and see) they say , for reals yoh....There is no better way to know.

So now,  to figure out what I want and go get it.  A wise friend has advised me to write it down and own it. Sounds pretty easy hey. Well been at it for days now, still got nothing. I guess I have been disappointed too much to want anything that bad. Maybe I'm just waiting to get whatever comes my way now. It is sad really. I could stay in my comfort zone and wallow in self pity. Depressing hey...Well I choose not to.

Enough I say! Yes nobody ever told me it would be this hard but then again maybe they also didn't know it could be that hard. We all have different paths. No one knows it all. No one has all the answers. It's time to take control of my life. Make decisions, that's what grown ups do isn't it. Take ownership of the mistakes made and move on. I think a lot of us do not like being independent. Its too painful right. Making all of those life or death, win or lose decisions. Well this is something we cannot run away from. I am no expert but I think there is as much enjoyment as there is pain in growing up.

The young have come up with this really cool phrase, yes the young, lol.  YOLO (You only live once) which implies that one should enjoy life even if that entails taking risks. I wish I'd been born after they popularised YOLO. I probably would have done more, allowed myself to explore various possibilities, taking risks knowing that's all there is to life any way. The joys and the pains. You just have to be able to adapt to the changes.

 “It's maze time!” Shout out to Haw (Who moved my cheese) Guys you should read that book. #Inspiring! I have decided to move. Hope ya'll will follow. Yes you , you have been stuck for years now.

I have not answered the question yet but I am a step closer to figuring it out.

...Serious moments #realtalk

6 comments:

  1. Lol, I Googled it...Google even indexed that shit! The universe truly does not care.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Its never too late yow enjoy life... Be bright be bold

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can totally relate to this...omw and my ummm bday is coming up which worsens the anxiety..good post

    ReplyDelete
  4. just finished college myself and I'm realising now that life is not as vblack and white as we think it is when we r little

    ReplyDelete